


Fever

by LoveIsGone



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 10:19:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12815430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveIsGone/pseuds/LoveIsGone
Summary: Kihyun wished he had been more attentive when he realized Hoseok was sick.





	Fever

**Author's Note:**

> Trying to get over my writer's block. Kiho seemed like a good place to start,

Kihyun had to grit his teeth each time he heard the rasp in Hoseok's voice while they rehearsed.

Whenever the older vocalist would speak, the sound grated against Kihyun's ears, making him cringe internally. He could see that Hoseok was struggling to keep up during practice, but kept his mouth shut, knowing it would only lead to an argument later if he was wrong about why the older man was lacking in energy. Knowing how much the older man hated acknowledging that he was pushing himself too much, not wanting to limit himself simply because his body wouldn't behave, he forced himself to stay silent.

"He's not feeling well, is he?" Hyunwoo was a warm, comforting presence next to Kihyun.

The main vocalist nodded, biting his lip to keep from saying something that could be deemed as harsh. Even without expressing it, he knew who their leader was talking about. If it was obvious to Hyunwoo that Hoseok wasn't in the best condition, who else knew that he was just putting on a facade so they could continue to rehearse for their next show?

Who else could see just how much he was struggling to look normal and get through the routine?

"Should I say something?" the leader asked, concern in his voice.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"You sure?"

"He'd hate it."

"I guess you're right."

And they left it at that, even though, deep down, Kihyun was itching to say something.

-

Kihyun woke with a start, looking around the darkness of the dorm, mind racing, trying to process what it was that could have woken him when it was still night time - moonlight coming through the slits of the blinds to indicate that it was very much late in the evening. Silence was all around him, save for the sounds of his slumbering roommates' even breathing. He could hear a soft snore, but knew that it wasn't what pulled him from sleep.

He almost laid back down, hand already pulling up his duvet, when he heard it. It was the sound of coughing. Whoever it was, was trying to muffle the sound.

His heart hammered in his chest as he threw his blanket off and carefully descended the ladder of the bunk bed to go check the source of the noise, concern already coiling into a knot in the pit of his stomach. In the back of his mind, Kihyun already had a feeling he knew who it was that was trying to hide their cough in the middle of the night.

As he lightly padded toward the living room, making as little noise as possible, he could see the glow of someone on their phone, the bright cast a halo in the dark. That halo, that cool ring of warmth, was framing Hoseok's face, washing out all of his features and making him look like a ghost curled up on the couch, nearly drowning in his oversized clothes - the ones he liked to wear when he wasn't feeling particularly well.

"Hyung," Kihyun called, voice low as to not wake anyone else.

The older man's head snapped up in surprise, nearly dropping his phone. However, when he realized who it was, he gave a sigh of relief. Dramatically, Hoseok placed a hand to his chest as he spoke, "You scared me!"

"You're the one who's lurking in the dark," the vocalist retorted, striding over to the couch and taking a seat.

The moment Kihyun leaned back against the cushions, Hoseok adjusted his own position, placing his head in the younger man's lap - as if seeking affection. Then the elder's attention was back on his phone, scrolling through the pages so fast the other man couldn't make out what was being read.

"Hyung."

"Hm?"

"Are you sick again?"

There was a long pause where only the sound of Hoseok's nail tapping against the screen could be heard. The seconds dragged out and Kihyun was about to ask again when the other man answered, "It's nothing."

"Hoseok."

The older man shifted closer, but positioned himself to face away from the younger man, phone now tucked away in the pocket of his oversized sweatshirt. There was a sigh, "I'm fine, Kihyunnie."

"It's not normal to be sick so much, hyung," he hated how he couldn't keep the irritation out of his voice - hated how he was already wondering what schedules they had to shift around for the older man to rest - worried about how it would affect their upcoming performances.

He was met with silence, which only seemed to rile him up more. He didn't know what it was, but he was ready to scold the older man, ready to drag him to bed and force him to rest so that their carefully planned schedule wouldn't be compromised.

Then Hoseok started coughing, so hard he had to sit up to try and catch his breath.

It didn't sound like a normal cough.

It sounded thick and wet.

"Hyung," concerned colored Kihyun's voice, seeing the other man hunched over.

"It's fine," Hoseok waved his hand dismissively, even as he covered his mouth to stifle another cough, "I'm _fine_."

The younger man rolled his eyes as the annoyance bubbled up again, "Whatever you say."

There was so much more Kihyun wanted to say, but bit his tongue and decided that it was time to just leave it be. If Hoseok wasn't going to acknowledge that something was wrong, then neither would he. With that, the vocalist got up and headed back toward his bedroom, irritated and fed up with having to deal with Hoseok - because it seemed like he was _always_ taking care of Hoseok, whether he wanted to or not.

But it was fine.

It wasn't as if they hadn't dealt with Hoseok being sick before.

It was going to be fine because it was _nothing_ new.

-

Blinking several times, Kihyun tried to clear the sleep from his eyes in the soft brilliance of the morning light filtering into the room.

It was early - far too early - for him to be up, as he could tell from the way his roommates were still bundled up in their blankets. He wanted to close his eyes and get in a little more sleep, but his mind was racing again and he couldn't place why.

For a long moment, he stared up at the ceiling, waiting to see if his brain would just stop being so busy. He waited and waited, only for a voice inside his head to tell him to go check on Hoseok. It annoyed him because it was the last thing he wanted to do - wanting to delay finding out if the older man was indeed sick enough that he'd have to inform one of their managers so that they could start rearranging the events they had lined up.

He didn't know if he could deal with a telling off so early in the morning, but unease was tugging at his chest. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, he really was the mother of the group and couldn't keep his concern at bay even if he tried.

Heaving a sigh, he kicked off his duvet and made his way down the bunk, ruffling his hair in frustration at the whole scenario. Kihyun padded into the living room to find Hoseok still on the couch, buried under a pile of blankets he must have gotten from the closet at some point during the night.

"Hyung," the vocalist called as he approached, already exasperated.

Usually, his voice - the one he used to nag when trying to wake the others - was enough to make the other stir, but he didn't receive a response. The silence he was met with only caused his worry to grow as he stepped closer. Even from a distance, he could tell that Hoseok was shivering, despite a sheen of sweat being present against his pale features.

"Hyung?" Instinctively, Kihyun reached out to touch the older man's forehead, immediately drawing his hand back when he felt just how warm it was. He grabbed Hoseok's shoulders and shook him, trying to rouse him, "Hyung!"

The older man groaned, eyes slowly opening, but they were unfocused. His lips moved, but nothing came, it was like his breath was caught in his throat, a terrible wet rattle coming out instead of sound.

"Hoseok!" Kihyun could hear the panic in his voice as he frantically pulled all the blankets off, trying to get the other singer into a sitting position. The older man felt boneless in the younger man's hold, barely able to keep himself up.

"What's going on?" a sleep groggy voice called.

Footsteps grew closer, but Kihyun couldn't tear his gaze away from Hoseok, who looked like he was in a daze, incomprehensible sounds falling from his lips each time the main vocalist tried to get his attention.

"Hyung!" Minhyuk was at Kihyun's side, hands cupping Hoseok's face, eyes frantically searching the sick man's features, "Hey! Say something!"

"Call the manager," Hyunwoo's voice was one of calm authority, but Kihyun couldn't turn his attention way from Hoseok.

From somewhere in the back, the vocalist could hear their maknae saying, "I'm on it."

Then strong, warm hands were pulling him away from Hoseok, guiding him to the recliner. Kihyun couldn't even protest as he took in the scene that was playing out in front of him, heart pounding so hard in his chest he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. _What's going on?_

He watched as Hyungwon pulled Hoseok into his lap, cradling the older man's head to ease a thermometer - the one they kept in the first aid kit in the bathroom - into his mouth as carefully as he could.

And Kihyun was froze, unable to do anything but stare because the fear was freezing him in place.

_What's happening?_

_How can this be happening?_

"He said he was fine," Kihyun's voice shook as he spoke, the words hardly a whisper.

Jooheon must have heard him because the rapper held his hand, squeezing it tightly in reassurance. But Kihyun could hardly feel any comfort, knowing that he had been the last one to see Hoseok the night before. He had seen that the older man was sick and just walked away - feeling annoyed rather than concerned.

"104," Hyungwon read off the thermometer, looking about the room grimly, "We're going to need more than a manager."

"I'll call an ambulance," Minhyuk's response was immediate

And all Kihyun could say as the dread took over was, "He was fine."

_Why didn't I stay with him?_

-

Minhyuk was hugging him, holding him tight, but Kihyun felt numb.

He kept thinking back to how aggravated he had been the night before. Hoseok had been sick so many times that he had gotten used to the sight. He didn't even question the way the older man had sounded, despite knowing that the cough just didn't sound right. He hadn't even asked if Hoseok was alright, going straight to accusing him of being sick.

Somehow, he had become calloused, seeing sickness as a norm.

_Why wasn't I more concerned?_

"He's resting now," Kihyun looked up when he heard Hongsik's voice, recognizing it immediately, but not having noticed when the manager had shown up at the dorm.

They had been instructed to not follow when the ambulance arrived. It was better that way - to not attract too much attention. Kihyun knew it had been the right choice, but he still hated that he had to wait with everyone else, especially with all of the nervous energy that was building up inside of it.

"Really bad flu and dehydration," the manager explained to Hyunwoo, though he glanced sympathetically around the living room at the others, as if knowing that they needed some form of assurance from him, "He probably exhausted himself the past week with all of the work you guys have been doing."

"It doesn't help that he's constantly at the studio," the leader sighed, sounding tired.

"He's been at the studio?" Kihyun's ears perked up at that. He knew that Hoseok was constantly there, but with all their recent preparations he hadn't seen the older man go, nor did he think they had any time for Hoseok to be arranging music.

"What do you think he's been doing when he stays late at the company?" Jooheon inquired, as if he wasn't certain why the singer would be asking such a question.

"I-I didn't know."

"We've all been busy," Hyungwon piped in and Kihyun could see it for what it was - an attempt to make him feel better about not noticing the fact that Hoseok hadn't been around as much as he had assumed.

Kihyun couldn't help but wonder if he really had been so caught up with all of their recent activities that he hadn't been able to take notice of what was going on around him. How could he not have noticed that Hoseok hadn't been spending as much time in the dorm? How could it have slipped by him that Hoseok was still working as much as ever despite the fact that they had a comeback to prepare for?

_Have I been that selfish?_

-

Hoseok was released back into their care within 48 hours and Kihyun latched onto the older man, fussing over him to no end.

"Kihyun, I'm fine now," Hoseok giggled, trying to keep the vocalist from covering him with another blanket. He was already under several layers in his bunk, looking like he had managed to take all of the duvets in the dorm, "Stop mothering me!"

"I just want to be sure you're getting better," Kihyun retorted, glancing at the bedside table to be sure the prescription of antibiotics was where it should be as well as a bottle of water and a cup of warm tea.

"Kihyun," the older man's hand was wrapping around his wrist then, stopping him in his tracks, "It's okay."

The younger man stared at where Hoseok's hand was holding him, warm fingers gently trying to persuade him to stop moving about with all of his nervous energy. And the guilt started to filter in again, "It's not okay."

"Sit," the older man said, smiling warmly, "Tell me what's wrong, Kihyunnie."

Taking a seat on the bed, the singer found himself unable to look at Hoseok as he worried at his lip.

"Kihyun?"

"I should've noticed how sick you were."

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"What if I hadn't checked on you?" Kihyun felt his chest constricting at the thought of what could've happened. He had read more than enough to know the amount of damage a high grade fever could cause - ranging from brain damage to death. He shuddered at the thought, "What if something worst had happened?"

"But it didn't. I'm fine."

"Stop saying that!" the singer exclaimed, causing Hoseok to draw back, startled, "Stop telling me you're okay when you're not!"

"Kihyun..."

"You could've died, Hoseok!"

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air for several long moments.

Kihyun sniffled and realized that he was crying, all of the tension that he had been trying to keep at bay suddenly letting loose with those words. He drew in a shuddering breath, slowly raising his head to look at Hoseok, who was gazing back at him with so much concern it hurt.

"I'm sorry," the older man's voice was a low whisper, looking guilty, bottom lip quivering.

Reaching out, Kihyun pulled Hoseok to him with barely any resistance at all, and just hugged him tight, "No, I'm sorry."

The other man gave a trembling laugh, obviously crying from having caught site of the vocalist's tears, "I was stupid, for not saying anything."

"Yeah, you were," Kihyun pressed his face into the side of the older man's neck, "But I was being stupid too. I should've asked more questions. Should've dragged you to the damn doctor."

Those words made Hoseok laugh and the vocalist felt lighter just hearing that sound. The relief that he had been hoping for slowly filling him up. Pulling back, Kihyun wiped at his eyes with his sleeves, face beginning to redden as he began to feel embarrassed about his outburst. He cleared his throat, not knowing what to do now that they had had a chance to clear the air a bit.

When he finally looked at Hoseok again, the older man was smile though his eyes were still rimmed with tears, "Thanks for taking care of me."

"I'll always take care of you," Kihyun couldn't help the smile that tugged at his lips.

_I promise_.


End file.
